


Loki's Hierarchy of Needs

by AuroraWest



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (of an extremely mild nature), Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Blackmail, Comedy, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, POV Loki (Marvel), Romance, Sentimental Loki, Sentimental Stephen Strange, Sexual Content, Smut, Sushi, Underwear, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:41:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraWest/pseuds/AuroraWest
Summary: Loki doesn't want much. And he really doesn't need anything for Valentine's Day. He's perfectly content to spend it at the Sanctum with Stephen. No gifts, no going out to eat, no—Alright, that's not true. There's one thing that Loki wants to do on Valentine's Day: he desperately loves those sushi places with conveyor belts. And Stephen thinks they're disgusting.
Relationships: Loki/Stephen Strange
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	Loki's Hierarchy of Needs

**Author's Note:**

> Several people are responsible for (culpable in?) the existence of this fic:
> 
> 1\. [mareebird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mareebird), for sending me a post on tumblr that included the word 'sexcalibur.' She also provided all of Stephen's best/worst puns in this. _And_ she betaed this fic and turned it around super fast, so thank you for that!
> 
> 2\. [Nonexistenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz) for sending me [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C-My9-dtXA), which prompted me to say, 'lol but what if Loki or Stephen wore those underwear?' She maaaaay add some art for this 👀
> 
> 3\. [Windsett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windsett) for coming up with "Surprise Sushi." She also encouraged/enabled me to do the banner.

Loki didn’t want much.

Alright—well—this wasn’t exactly true. Loki actually had spent most of his life wanting one thing or another, though mostly they were intangible things: worthiness, the respect of others. Love. Perhaps all it came down to was that he’d wanted love.

What he meant was, he didn’t want much when it came to the…well, what his lover would call the _material_ world. Though Loki had a tendency to collect things—his mother had always said he was a terrible magpie—he didn’t really _need_ them, and he knew it. There was no money or space in New Asgard to collect objects, so he didn’t, and he didn’t miss it.

Usually. _Usually_ he didn’t—no. The first one was better. He didn’t miss it.

He also didn’t need to be wined and dined, nor taken on expensive outings. There was no money for that, either. What was that song that Stephen had played for him? ‘All You Need is Love.’ Even though Loki had pointed out, “You can’t subsist off of love.”

Stephen had laughed. “I don’t think the Beatles were thinking of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs when they wrote it.”

Anyway, what Loki wanted, he mostly had. As Valentine’s Day approached, a holiday that claimed to be all about love, Loki had been thinking about that fact. In the romantic love department, things were good.

Loki didn’t particularly care about Valentine’s Day. It was a silly holiday, not a real one like Yule or Midsummer or Ostara or the Dísablót. But humans had traditions where they exchanged gifts and took each other out to dinner on Valentine’s Day. Traditionally, they went somewhere special. And although Loki didn’t need things, there _was_ a restaurant he wanted to go to.

The only problem was, he needed to play the long game in order to get Stephen to accompany him. Loki desperately loved those sushi places with conveyor belts. And Stephen thought they were disgusting. He had refused, on multiple occasions, to go with Loki. Loki didn’t mind eating alone, but it was much better to eat with another person. Thor, obviously, was delighted by any eatery where one’s food was delivered by mechanical means (there was a bar in Oslo where the bartenders were all robots—they didn’t make very good drinks, but the novelty made up for it). Eating out with Thor was nice, it wasn’t that. They made sure to go out at least once a month, sans significant others, just to have a night out with each other.

But he wanted to go to the conveyor belt sushi restaurant with _Stephen._

When Loki arrived at the Sanctum on Valentine’s Day, he didn’t have a plan to achieve this aim. Stephen had intimated that he’d heard and understood Loki’s disinterest in the traditional Valentine’s Day trappings, and that they wouldn’t be doing anything.

Loki still brought flowers for him. Not roses, obviously. They were ridiculously marked up in the days surrounding Valentine’s Day. But he got something pretty; a bouquet with a variety of different blooms, bright pinks and oranges and yellows, because February was miserable in both New York and Norway.

When Loki pushed the Sanctum’s front door open, flowers in hand, he found the foyer empty. The door swung shut behind him of its own accord, creaking as it closed with a thud. “Is anyone home?” he called.

There was a sound from the study and Wong poked his head out. “Hello, Loki. Stephen’s in the attic.”

“The _attic?_ ” Loki repeated, wrinkling his nose. “What in the world would possess him to go up there?” The attic was dusty, cramped, full of boxes of unknown provenance, as well as a curio cabinet full of glass rabbit figurines. It wasn’t a place anyone should be spending much time.

With a shrug, Wong said, “It’s not the first time Stephen’s done something I don’t understand.”

“Mm,” Loki said, narrowing his eyes. It was hard to avoid the feeling that this was a dig—good-natured, probably—at Stephen falling for Loki. “Indeed.” As an afterthought, he fished a single bloom out of the bouquet—a bright pink carnation, and crossed the room to hand it to Wong. “Here,” he said.

Wong _almost_ smiled. “How thoughtful.”

“Yes, well.” Loki cast his eyes upwards towards the attic. Now that he knew Stephen was up there, he thought he could hear banging and scraping sounds. _Hopefully_ that was Stephen, and not some monster that was going to ruin Valentine’s Day. “You know me, Master Wong. ‘Thoughtful’ is basically my middle name.”

“Do Asgardians have middle names?” Wong asked.

“No.” Loki flashed a sharp smile at him, then spun on his heel to head upstairs.

The scraping sounds got louder as Loki neared the attic, and when he reached the Sanctum’s third floor, he found the door ajar. From the sound of things, Stephen was moving boxes around. Loki tried to push the door open, only to find it blocked. “Stephen,” he said, “are you in there, or is there a situation that Wong should be aware of?”

“Both?” Stephen’s voice answered from inside.

The obstruction abruptly vanished, and Loki was able to open the door and step into the room. Stephen was inside, kneeling on the floor, surrounded by open boxes. He was staring at one of them in consternation. Loki crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “Did you forget I was coming over?”

Stephen looked up and met Loki’s eyes. There was a stripe of dust across his cheek and his hair was flopping over his forehead. He was wearing the old university sweatshirt that looked like mice had chewed on the collar and jeans with the holes in both knees. Regardless, Loki’s heart fluttered and heat spread through his stomach. Disheveled, dusty, and dressed in old, ripped clothing, Stephen Strange was still the most gorgeous person imaginable.

“I never forget anything,” Stephen said, smiling crookedly.

Gesturing with a finger, Loki asked, “So what’s all this?”

“This,” Stephen said, stretching his arms up over his head and cracking his spine, “is me losing track of time.”

Loki took a moment to appreciate the sight of Stephen’s stomach as his shirt rose with his arms. “What are you looking for?” Loki asked, coming inside and kneeling on the floor next to Stephen.

Stephen ran a hand through his hair, which left streaks of dust in it. “An amulet.”

Arching an eyebrow, Loki said, “You put it in one of these boxes and forgot which one?”

“No.” Stephen grunted. “It got out of its case and I tracked it up here, but it must be hiding next to something that’s blocking its signature. I can’t figure out where it is.”

“Did you check the cabinet?”

Stephen’s eyes flicked up to it and Loki glanced over his shoulder as well. The glass rabbits were all staring at the two of them, their shiny black eyes unblinking and really rather creepy. “That’s a last resort,” Stephen said. Then, his gaze moved back to Loki. With a smile, he leaned forward, cupping a hand around the back of Loki’s head, and pulled him into a deep, slow kiss. “Hey,” he said a few minutes later, though his lips still brushed Loki’s as he spoke.

“Hi,” Loki said, smiling against Stephen’s mouth.

Eventually, though, Stephen pulled away, rocking back and wincing. “Sometimes I forget I’m in my fifties now,” he said. “Can’t hold an awkward position the way I used to be able to.”

Loki laughed and ran his fingertips through Stephen’s goatee. “Don’t worry, Strange—I’ll get into any awkward position you need me to.” When Stephen waggled his eyebrows, Loki bit back another laugh. Then, he glanced around at the boxes. “Do you want my help finding your rogue amulet?”

Getting to his feet, Stephen said, “No. Thanks, though. I’ll let it savor its freedom for a little while longer. Eventually it will get hungry and come out.”

“Is this the one that will only eat blue M&Ms?” Loki asked, following Stephen out of the attic.

As Stephen shut the door behind them, he said, “Yeah. I’m thinking about paying one of the neighbor kids to separate them all out. It makes my hands hurt sorting through them.” Almost absently, he rubbed at the back of his hand. “Anyway.” With a grin, that grin that made Loki’s stomach flop every time he saw it, Stephen said, “Happy Valentine’s Day. I got you something.”

Loki handed him the flowers. “Likewise.”

Taking them, Stephen said, “I was wondering if those were for me, or if you were just carrying them around.”

“Sorry,” Loki said sheepishly.

When they reached the second floor and walked around the landing to Stephen’s bedroom, Stephen circled a hand and conjured a vase for the flowers. As Loki watched, water filled it. “They’re nice,” Stephen said, shooting Loki another one of his wonderful smiles. “Thanks.”

Loki shrugged as he sat on the bed. “It’s not much. Just something to make it more cheerful while the weather is so miserable.” He’d cast a spell on them so they would last longer than flowers normally would, too. “I hope you didn’t get me much,” he added.

Sitting next to him and handing Loki a box wrapped in newspaper, Stephen said, “This is kind of a present for me too.” There was a crooked smile pulling at his mouth.

Loki picked at the newspaper and shook the box. It was light, but it sounded like something was inside. Unwrapping it, he said, “That’s very cryptic.” The newspaper fell off the box and Loki stared at it. Then, he held it up, his lips pursed. “What the hel is this?”

“Don’t you like it?” Stephen asked, sounding very innocent.

It was a box. On the box were the words KING ARTHUR UNDERWEAR, and underneath, a photo of a man wearing nothing but said underwear. Or rather, a section of man, from about mid-thigh to his abdomen. Dead center in the box was…well, an indication that this particular underwear model was extremely well-endowed.

Loki looked at it again, though now he was getting a bit more appreciative of the picture.

“I found them in a mall in Tokyo,” Stephen said. “I thought the blurb on the back was funny.”

Duly, Loki flipped it over and scanned the back of the box, reading out loud, “ _A man has freedom as a man. It is dream, love and everything else. It is a nice taste—_ Strange, why did you buy this for me?”

“Besides the fact that I thought you might like the picture?” Stephen asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Well,” Loki said, glancing at it again. He had no complaints about Stephen’s…equipment, but he had to admit that the man on the box was quite a bit…bigger. “That _was_ thoughtful.”

Stephen snorted. “Yeah okay, okay, you don’t have to drool _quite_ so obviously.” When Loki grinned at him, Stephen said, “I thought, you know. You might put them on.”

At this, Loki’s eyebrows shot up. “You want me to wear this…” He looked at the box. “‘King Arthur: Sporty _Erogance?_ Is that supposed to be some sort of pun?”

“I think it might just be a misspelling.”

“Mm.” Loki opened the box and tipped it upside down. The underwear—and there wasn’t much of it—tumbled out. When he held it up, it was apparent just _how_ little there was to them. “So,” he said, “what exactly is in it for me if I put these on?”

Stephen was looking at the underwear, and the way his eyes flicked to Loki’s crotch was quite unsubtle. Not that Loki minded. Not that Loki minded _one_ bit.

Suddenly, a flash of inspiration came to him. The only way he was going to get Stephen to go to a conveyor belt sushi restaurant—where they would have a _delightful_ meal and Loki would be thrilled and happy because what was more fun than your food being delivered to you on a conveyor belt?—was, obviously, through manipulating him into going there. And while, yes, of course, he could just say they were going somewhere else and then bring them to the restaurant he truly wanted to eat at, Stephen would just use his sling ring to bring them somewhere else. No, Stephen needed to volunteer for it. Stephen needed to be _trapped_ into volunteering for it. And these underwear were the key. Somehow. He knew it.

Loki twirled the underwear in the air, the waistband around one of his fingers. “So? I still haven’t heard what the benefit is to me in wearing these.”

There was a slow smile spreading across Stephen’s face. “I take them off you with extreme prejudice.”

“Mm, now that _does_ sound intriguing.” Should he try to extract a promise of conveyor belt sushi as recompense for wearing these ridiculous underwear? Hm. No. Not the right play. What _was_ the right play? It would come to him. Loki was good at thinking on his feet. Or, well, his back, as the case may be.

Picking up the box again, Loki said, “I think I’d have to stuff a sock down the front to get this effect, though. Perhaps several socks.”

“You’re selling yourself short, Odinson. Or, well—” Stephen’s smile got more crooked. “—Maybe ‘short’ is the wrong word to use.”

Loki couldn’t help laughing. “I do love a man who appreciates what the gods gave me.”

Stephen shifted onto his hands and knees, then crawled towards Loki on the bed. It wouldn’t be a comfortable position for him, not at all. It would strain his wrists. So Loki smiled and grabbed him by his upper arms, pulling Stephen down on top of him. The underwear was still balled in one of his hands, but it was too tempting to kiss Stephen.

That occupied them for awhile, but finally, Stephen murmured, “Gotta admit, Odinson, it’s not hard to appreciate anything about your body.” His hands roved down Loki’s sides to prove this point. Not that his hands really _needed_ to prove the point. There was a delicious hardness pressing into Loki—and an answering hardness on Loki’s end.

“Mm.” Loki kissed Stephen hard, shoving his hips upwards.

“Put the underwear on,” Stephen growled into Loki’s mouth.

“So you only bought them because you thought they were funny, hm?” Loki asked.

Stephen kissed the side of Loki’s face, then his neck. “Well. Maybe not _just_ because they were funny.”

Sliding his hands down over Stephen’s arse, Loki murmured, “I appreciate that honesty, Strange.” When Stephen sucked at his neck, he let out a quiet groan. “If I put on the underwear, I expect you to be clothed—or rather, unclothed—in kind.”

“I can do that.”

“In fact—” Loki squeezed his arse. Stephen’s fucking arse—he’d never met a man with a nicer one. Nice to look at, even nicer to touch. It was firm and tight, but there was enough of it to get the most satisfying handful. “—In fact, Stephen, I think you should dispense with the underwear entirely.”

At this, Stephen let out a moan himself. “Sure. Okay. Anything.”

Loki laughed. “Usually _I’m_ the one who’s desperate for it.”

Burying his face in the crook of Loki’s neck, Stephen said, his voice muffled, “You canceled on me last weekend.”

Loki wrinkled his nose, though Stephen couldn’t see him. “Not because I wanted to.”

“Yeah, well—I was pretty horny.”

“Yes, so was I—that’s what hands are for.”

“I’d rather have you.”

“Well, _likewise_ , but—” Loki smiled. “Really? You didn’t—you waited a week?”

“Two weeks,” Stephen sighed.

Smiling again, Loki amended, “You waited two weeks just so I could get you off?”

Stephen groaned. “Loki, come on.”

With a laugh, Loki shifted, allowing Stephen to roll off of him so he could swing his legs out of bed. Waving the underwear, he said, “I’ll be right back.”

Was Wong still downstairs? Loki poked his head out of Stephen’s bedroom, but didn’t hear anything. Loki liked Wong well enough, but giving him a flower on Valentine’s Day definitely didn’t equate to any desire on Loki’s part for him to know what Loki looked like wearing nothing but King Arthur Underwear. To be fair, he doubted Wong wanted to know what that looked like, either.

He went to the bathroom and shed his clothing, pulling his underwear down over his erection. As he did so, he glanced down at himself. Obviously, he liked cock, and also obviously, he was well aware that he was above average in the size department—not grossly so, but enough. He knew he was attractive. But there was still something so…so baffling and wonderful about the way that Stephen looked at him and touched him. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to get used to it…or if that would be too much like taking Stephen for granted. _That_ was something he couldn’t countenance.

There was a bead of fluid leaking out of him and Loki smiled, then held the new underwear out.

There really wasn’t much to them.

Loki rolled his eyes, but he pulled them on.

There really, _really_ wasn’t much to them.

Craning his neck, Loki looked at his backside. Would one consider this a ‘thong?’ How little coverage did there have to be over the buttocks before something was worthy of that term? He reached back and felt where they ended. The triangle of fabric at the top covered the top of his arse, barely. The rest of it was just…string. Perhaps there was too _little_ fabric for this to be considered a thong?

As he glanced down at his front, he still didn’t think that his dick was quite as protruding as the one on the box—but he also didn’t think Stephen would mind.

Loki cracked the door open and peeked out, making sure the coast was clear, before he returned to Stephen’s bedroom. His pulse picked up as he pushed Stephen’s door open.

And he wasn’t disappointed. Stephen was sprawled on the bed, completely naked.

His head turned as Loki opened the door and a smile spread over his face. “See? No sock needed.”

Loki smiled back, kicking the door shut and leaning back against it, folding his arms over his chest and jutting his hips out. “So. How’s the fit, would you say?”

Propping himself up on an elbow, Stephen raked his eyes slowly up and down Loki’s body. It made heat prickle at Loki’s skin. “Can’t complain,” Stephen said. “At all. Come here.”

Loki stuck a thumb in the waistband of the underwear and snapped it. “Hm. Should I?”

“Yes,” Stephen said, a growl to his voice. “I just told you I’ve been waiting for two weeks.”

With a small, crooked smile, Loki ran his thumb back and forth inside the waistband. “That’s not _my_ problem. You should have just taken care of your urges.”

Stephen held out a hand. “I thought you’d be flattered.”

Actually, he was. It was a silly thing for Stephen to have done, but it was also, in its way, romantic, and that made Loki’s heart flutter. So he pushed off from the door and made his way over to the bed. Stephen’s eyes were definitely _not_ on Loki’s.

When Loki stopped just out of reach and put his hands on his hips, Stephen groaned. Loki twisted, making sure Stephen got a view of his arse and his hips in profile, saying musingly, “They’re rather comfortable, if I’m being honest. Sometimes my underwear bunch up under my leathers—there isn’t much to these, is there? So I don’t think I’d have that problem.”

“Loki…”

“Perhaps you should get a few pairs for yourself, Stephen,” Loki went on serenely. “I thought I noticed on the back of the box the full line of colors? I think the tiger print ones would really go well with your coloring.”

Abruptly, Stephen pushed himself into a sitting position. He reached forward and grabbed Loki’s hands, and Loki didn’t resist, allowing Stephen to pull him close. Straddling Stephen, his knees resting on the mattress and his feet hanging off the edge, Loki put his hands on Stephen’s face and kissed him as Stephen’s arms went around Loki’s back, his hands slipping downwards. Loki trailed his fingers down Stephen’s neck, then looped them around his shoulders, as he pushed his hips against Stephen. The press of Stephen’s hard, hot cock against Loki’s made it difficult not to grind against him more shamelessly. The flimsy fabric of the underwear provided only enough of a barrier to be annoying.

Actually, he could feel damp leaking through the underwear, and Loki wasn’t sure if it was his own pre-cum or Stephen’s.

Loki broke the kiss. “Perhaps leopard print…”

“Shut up,” Stephen said, kissing him again, harder this time. Loki laughed into his mouth and ran his hands over Stephen’s shoulders.

The two of them kept kissing, hands roving. It was always difficult for Loki to decide what was better, Stephen’s hands on him, or his hands on Stephen, the feel of skin and muscle under his palms. Of course, that was always the dilemma, wasn’t it? Was it better to suck Stephen off or _be_ sucked off? Better to get fucked or fuck him? An impossible choice. All he knew was that Stephen’s body made Loki feel like a god; being touched, being able to touch him, was Loki’s version of Valhalla.

With a soft moan, Loki ground against Stephen, pleasure burning through him at the feeling of their dicks rubbing together. Stephen’s hands were playing with the underwear, his fingers slipping underneath it, snapping it every so often.

Breaking their kiss, Loki said, “You know, I’m really beginning to think that your primary motivation for buying this underwear for me had _nothing_ to do with how funny you found the blurb on the back.”

“No?” Stephen gave him a crooked smile, his hands moving around Loki to cup his backside and squeeze. “Weird. What gave you that idea?” His fingers slid under the useless triangle of fabric at the back of the underwear, then down Loki’s crack. Loki arched his hips and pushed himself up on his knees, aiming Stephen’s cock for his arse.

He was still wearing the underwear, but—there wasn’t much _to_ the underwear, and Stephen hadn’t shown my inclination to be deterred by it. Perhaps it would be hot—extremely hot, so hot that Loki felt his knees threaten to give way—for Stephen to simply leave the useless garment on him, pull it aside, and have his way with Loki.

Stephen groaned as the tip of his dick pushed at Loki’s hole. Loki thought the same idea may have occurred to him.

“It’s just this feeling I seem to be getting,” Loki said.

Suddenly, he had another flash of inspiration, unrelated to hot, dirty sex. He knew _exactly_ how he was going to get that conveyor belt sushi.

He just had to keep Stephen talking. Stephen would trap himself into it. The man loved the sound of his own voice. Of course, Loki loved the sound of his voice as well, so it was understandable, but—well, not the point, probably.

“What were they called again?” Loki asked, though he knew perfectly well what the name had been.

“Sporty Erogance?”

“Was that the brand?”

“Oh—King Arthur.” Stephen’s hips moved and his cock pushed more insistently at Loki’s hole. They didn’t have the lube out yet and Loki knew Stephen would never actually attempt to enter him without it. Still, he liked the pressure and the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Stephen would have his way with him, regardless.

Loki trailed his fingers across Stephen’s shoulders. There were freckles scattered across them, which Loki had always liked. Those, and the ones on his chest. They all reminded him of constellations. “King Arthur,” he said musingly. “Like the legend?”

Stephen kissed Loki’s jaw, then said, “Well, probably not like the flour.” Then, he snorted. Loki smiled slightly to himself. “Or—maybe like the flour. ‘Wear King Arthur brand underwear, and your bread won’t be the _only_ thing rising.’”

Loki snorted. “Mm hm.”

“Anyone wearing these would get…Lanced-a-lot,” Stephen said.

With a groan, Loki said, “Well, I like the idea of that, if not the terrible pun.”

“The _great_ pun.” Now Stephen was hitting his stride. All Loki had to do was sit back and wait. Well, not literally sit back. If he did that, Stephen would get distracted. “Knights _on_ the Round Table…oh wait.” A crooked smile crept over his face. “Shield your sword with King Arthur…”

“Yes, alright, you’re very funny—” Loki said.

But Stephen went on, “…and have…a good _knight_.”

Loki sighed. “Are you done? Not that it would have taken much to ruin these underwear, but I think you’ve accomplished that. You’re actually well on your way to ruining sex for me.”

There was a gleam in Stephen’s eyes. His hips rolled suggestively. “Ruining sex, huh? Don’t you want me to put my sword in your stone?” When Loki made a face, Stephen added, “Only the true king can remove it.”

At this, Loki had to struggle not to laugh. “Sounds uncomfortable.”

“Well.” The gleam in Stephen’s eyes had gotten brighter. Loki knew he was about to deliver his coup de grâce. “That’s sexcalibur for you, babe—you’ll want it stuck inside you.”

And, done. Loki’s expression flattened and he swung his legs off Stephen, then flicked his fingers to dress himself in clothing from his pocket dimension. Stephen looked crestfallen. Loki _almost_ felt bad. But conveyor belt sushi beckoned.

“C’mon, Loki, it was a joke—” Stephen said.

Without a word, Loki swept out of the bedroom, stalking down the staircase and into the kitchen. After a second, there was thumping behind him—which sounded like Stephen struggling to pull his clothes on quickly. Once in the kitchen, Loki pulled the refrigerator open, searching for the iced tea that Stephen kept in stock for him. When he spotted it, he grabbed it, swung the refrigerator door shut—

And found Stephen standing there, staring at him.

Loki twisted open the bottle of iced tea and arched an eyebrow as he took a sip. Stephen was still shirtless and his jeans were on, but not zipped up. His belt wasn’t buckled, either. The ends were flopping, which seemed like an apt metaphor, considering the circumstances.

“Loki…” Stephen began.

Delicately, Loki twisted the cap back onto the bottle. “You called,” he said, punctuating each word with a twist of the cap, “your cock…sexcalibur.”

The way Stephen scrunched his face looked like a combination of chagrin and a poor attempt not to laugh. “I did, yeah,” Stephen said.

Loki swirled the tea around in the bottle. “And you thought I would appreciate that?”

“Well, I obviously didn’t think you were going to get mad, or I wouldn’t have said it.”

Mm, debatable. Stephen actually enjoyed winding Loki up more than he was admitting.

Taking another sip of iced tea, Loki said, “It’s revolting.”

Stephen’s eyebrows went up. He still looked like he thought this was entertaining. “It’s not that bad.”

“If you were trying to set an amorous mood, it was,” Loki said.

With a smirk, Stephen reached for Loki, but Loki took a step back, holding his tea out in front of himself like a shield. The smile fell off Stephen’s face. “Is this really a big deal to you?” Stephen asked.

Loki looked away, glancing out the kitchen window. “It’s Valentine’s Day. You could be a _bit_ more romantic.”

“I didn’t think you cared about Valentine’s Day,” Stephen said. He was beginning to sound baffled.

“Then why did you get me a present?”

“Because I thought you’d look hot in skimpy underwear,” Stephen said. Well, the honesty was nice. Stephen’s eyes flicked to Loki’s legs. “Which you did, by the way.” He held out a trembling hand. “Look, I’m sorry. I was just joking around. I thought it would make you laugh.”

Under other circumstances, it very much would have made Loki laugh. He felt a little bad for making Stephen think it hadn’t. With a shrug, Loki said, “It was vulgar.”

This may have been a step too far. Stephen looked flummoxed, but he also looked a bit suspicious. “Vulgar?” he asked. “I’ve heard you say things that would shock porno directors.”

Alright, time to move the conversation on, clearly. What was important here was not _why_ Loki had been offended, only that he had been—and how Stephen could make it up to him. “Perhaps I shouldn’t stay the night,” Loki said.

A gamble. Stephen might want to make sure Loki wasn’t uncomfortable and agree with this. That was the kind of man Stephen was. He would always put Loki’s needs first, which was why Loki knew he could get away with what he was about to do, provided Stephen didn’t insist that he was right, he should take some time, he didn’t need to spend the night. Then again, Stephen had made it quite clear that he had been thinking about sex for two weeks, so Loki thought Stephen would prefer to make it right and convince him to stay.

With a disappointed look, Stephen said, “Really?”

“Well.” Loki played with the cap of the bottle. “I don’t know. If I stayed, I think I’d want something to take my mind off what you said.”

Slowly, Stephen nodded. The movement seemed to make him catch sight of his undone pants, which he did up. That was disappointing. Loki had been enjoying staring at the V of muscle leading down to his crotch, and that little bit of hair that crept up towards his navel. “So you want me to make it up to you,” Stephen said.

Loki pretended to think. “Yes. Yes, I think that would probably help things.”

Stephen quirked an eyebrow. “Normally I’d suggest you let me make it up to you in bed, but…”

Splaying his hand and looking down at it, Loki picked at one of his nails, where his black nail polish was chipping. He cast a small glamor to cover the chip. “I was thinking more along the lines of going out to dinner.”

“ _You_ want to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day?” Stephen asked.

The incredulity in his tone felt undeserved. Or perhaps not. Loki supposed he _did_ tend towards derisiveness for all human holidays, regardless of whether they were religious or invented by corporations. And Loki had definitely expressed distaste for Valentine’s Day in the past. But there probably wasn’t anything in the universe that Loki hadn’t expressed distaste for at _least_ once in his life. “Yes,” he replied, deciding to be dignified about this. It would make a contrast with Stephen calling his penis ‘sexcalibur.’

“Okay,” Stephen said. He folded his arms over his bare chest. The way it pressed his biceps flatter, tightening the muscle, made Loki’s stomach feel hot. Hopefully, after sushi, Stephen would still be in the mood to make things up to him in bed, too. Loki still had the underwear on, after all.

Regretfully, he made his eyes stop tracing over Stephen’s physique. If he thought too much about it, he’d start to imagine his tongue following the same path, and then he’d get a hard-on, and then he’d lose a lot of his clout in this negotiation.

Stephen was looking at him, eyebrow still raised. “I assume you have a place in mind? You _know_ we’re not getting in anywhere without a reservation if it has more than two stars on Yelp.”

“I do, actually,” Loki replied. Stephen unfolded his arms and held out a hand, inviting Loki to go on. “I’d like to go to Sushi Surprise.”

Stephen’s reaction was immediate and predictable. “What?! The place with the conveyor belt? No,” he groaned. “ _Anywhere_ but there. Come on, Loki, it’s _disgusting._ Your food’s been going around and around for god knows how long, with people breathing and coughing on it. It’s like a petri dish by the time you decide you want it—the only surprise is which flu strain you’re going to pick up.” Running his hand through his hair, he asked, “Can’t we go somewhere else?”

Frowning, Loki said, “I suppose I can just go home…”

But Stephen reached for him. Loki allowed Stephen’s fingers to catch on his. “Don’t go.” He closed his eyes, as though steeling himself. “We can eat at the gross conveyor belt place.”

“And you can’t say it’s disgusting while we’re there,” Loki said. He thought about that. “Actually, you can’t say it’s disgusting for the rest of the day.”

Making a face, Stephen said, “So when does that end. Midnight? Can I revert to calling it disgusting at midnight?”

That seemed fair. “Fine,” Loki said.

The two of them regarded each other. “I guess I should put a shirt on,” Stephen said.

Loki nodded. “Yes, I suppose you’ll want to. It’s cold today.”

“Uh huh.” Stephen didn’t move, as though he was waiting for Loki to say this was all a joke, and he didn’t really want to go out for dinner. But Loki continued watching him. Finally, Stephen sighed and said, “I’ll be right back.”

Perhaps this deserved a slight relenting. Loki reached for Stephen, sliding his hands over his shoulders, then down the front of his chest. “I think you’ll probably need to make amends in bed, as well. Just so you know. You may want to prepare yourself for that.”

A smile pulled at Stephen’s mouth. “Yeah?”

“Mm hm.”

Stephen’s hands settled on Loki’s hips. “So maybe we do that and forget about dinner—” But Loki took a step back, and Stephen looked resigned. “—Or maybe we’ll wait until later.”

“I’m glad we agree,” Loki said. He smiled. Stephen ran a hand through his hair again, sighed, and left the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, they were walking down the street, Stephen in his black peacoat, Loki in a black leather jacket. Stephen’s hands were in his pockets. It was a damp night, and that always bothered his hands. The restaurant wasn’t far, though—only ten blocks or so, and the two of them liked walking, even in the winter.

Stephen glanced at him. “I love that jacket. Looks hot on you.”

Loki smiled slightly. “If you’re trying to seduce me into turning around and going home, it’s not going to happen.”

Breath fogged in front of Stephen’s face as he laughed. “Don’t worry, Odinson. You’re going to get your gr—” Loki raised an eyebrow and Stephen amended, “—your kaiten-zushi.” Taking a hand out of his pocket, he rubbed it across Loki’s back. “I just like the jacket.”

“Hm.”

“I do. It’s sexy.”

Allowing his shoulder to bump against Stephen’s, Loki said, “I’m glad you think so, Doctor.”

Stephen’s hand drifted lower, towards the small of Loki’s back. It felt nice, and it was dark enough that neither of them was immediately recognizable, so Loki wasn’t as jumpy about the public display of affection as he normally would have been.

“And you really do look amazing in that underwear, you know,” Stephen said.

Loki’s smile got a little wider, but he didn’t look at Stephen. “Why do I feel like you’re complimenting me in an attempt to get something?” It was a bit ironic for Loki to accuse someone else of doing this, but while Stephen was often free with his compliments, it wasn’t usually when they were walking down the street together.

With a shrug, Stephen said, “I’m not. I just—you know I think you’re the sexiest thing in the universe, right? Just because I make jokes in bed—”

“Stupid jokes,” Loki pointed out.

“You laugh at my stupid jokes all the time.”

“Ha, you admit they’re stupid.”

“And you didn’t deny you laugh at them.”

Loki arched an eyebrow.

There was an earnestness on Stephen’s face as he went on, “Stupid or not, I’m just trying to make you laugh. I love it when you laugh. And sex should be fun, right? It doesn’t have to be all seriousness and lingering gazes.”

Snorting, Loki said, “Has it _ever_ been that way with us?”

Stephen grinned. “Well, no. I thought you liked it that way.”

Loki reached up and ran a finger down Stephen’s jaw lightly. “I do.”

They stopped for a red light and Stephen turned, looping his arms around Loki’s back. “You’re gorgeous when you laugh, you know that?”

Loki felt himself growing hot. And he was starting to feel more guilty. Stephen was being…sweet. He was saying all these nice things about Loki, but Loki had manipulated him into doing something he didn’t want to do. “I’m beginning to question if you’ve seen all that many people laugh,” Loki said, feeling a flush creeping into his face.

The crosswalk sign lit up and Stephen smiled, turning to cross the intersection. Loki had sort of been hoping Stephen would kiss him. But then again, Loki had expressed many times that he didn’t want to kiss in public. Still. He was disappointed.

They arrived at Surprise Sushi within fifteen minutes. There was a wait, but not much of one, and the two of them had enough time to order drinks at the bar before they were led to two chairs at the counter.

Loki was buzzing with excitement. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the conveyor belt while they’d been at the bar waiting to be seated. There was a rectangular area in the center of the restaurant. A counter ran around this area. Within it, the sushi chefs prepared each individual plate, then placed it on a smaller conveyor belt which brought each plate to the main one, which was elevated above the counter. There were signs placed all around commanding patrons not to place anything on the belt.

Once they were seated with their drinks, Loki grabbed the first three plates that came down the conveyor belt towards them. He almost let the fourth go by, but then he changed his mind and took that as well. The people next to them turned and glared, but Loki didn’t care. The hum of the conveyor belt, and the occasional clacking sound it made, added to the ambiance.

“Did you even look at what any of this was before you took it?” Stephen asked, watching plates trundle by.

“No,” Loki said cheerfully. “Would you like to try something?”

Stephen looked at him and his gaze softened. “You’re really excited about this, aren’t you?”

“It’s fun,” Loki said. “Don’t you think?”

“It’s gimmicky here in America,” Stephen said. When Loki rolled his eyes, Stephen chuckled. “But it’s kind of fun, I guess.”

Snagging another plate off the belt, Loki said, “It’s very fun. Look.” He pushed the plate in front of Stephen. Most of the rolls and sashimi were on plates that showed their name, but this one had a plastic deli spear in it. There was a long list of ingredients in the roll, but most strikingly, it had a piece of smoked salmon shaped like a cape sitting on top of it.

“Wizard roll?” Stephen asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

Loki tore open his chopsticks, picked up one of the Wizard rolls, and popped it in his mouth, then picked up another and held it up for Stephen, who, in his surprise, actually allowed himself to be fed. “The neighborhood is showing its appreciation,” Loki said.

After Stephen chewed and swallowed, he smiled wryly. “This might be the most significant thing that’s ever been named after me.”

“Didn’t Christine have her Strange Policy?” Loki asked, a tiny smile on his face.

“Oh yeah. Right.” Stephen chuckled. “You think that’s better than a sushi roll?”

“There was that latte at Third Rail, too.”

Despite the wryness of Stephen’s smile, there was still a softness in his eyes. And as the two of them ate, the expression on Stephen’s face stayed that way, a mixture of amused and practically tender. With every plate of sushi Loki took from the conveyor belt, he felt his guilt grow. Stephen hadn’t wanted to come here, but he’d been very nice about it, and he seemed happy simply because Loki was happy.

Finally, shame screwed too tightly in Loki’s chest—and snapped.

In a rush, Loki admitted, “It didn’t actually bother me that you called your penis ‘sexcalibur.’”

The people next to them glared again, the young woman muttering, “Can we get the bill and get out of here?” Loki still didn’t care.

Stephen brushed some wasabi on a California roll and picked it up delicately. “I know,” he said, before eating it.

Loki stared at him. The stools of the couple next to them scraped loudly on the floor as they left. Stephen’s eyes followed them before ticking back to Loki. “You know?” Loki repeated.

A smile was tugging at Stephen’s mouth. “Uh huh.”

Despite himself, Loki felt a bit confounded. “When did you realize?”

“Uh…” Stephen thought. “About the time you threatened to leave for the second time.” One of his eyebrows quirked up.

“Oh.” Loki had thought he was being quite clever and sneaky. Was he losing his touch? _There_ was a frightening thought. Clearly, he needed to engage in more treachery. Harmless treachery. He didn’t want to lose his penchant for mischief and manipulation. His mouth, he realized, was hanging open, and he shut it. “Ah,” he added, articulately.

Stephen looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. At least he didn’t seem angry. Then again, if this was the sort of thing that would make Stephen angry, they wouldn’t have ever become romantically involved in the first place. There had been ample time for Stephen to think better about the kind of person he’d fallen for and to make better choices. Mystifyingly, he hadn’t.

Picking up his chopsticks, Loki glanced at one of the signs reminding diners not to put anything on the belt. He stared at it, then glanced at Stephen, who was just watching him. “What would you give me if I put something on the conveyor belt?” Loki asked.

“Like what?”

With a shimmer of green, a small tyrannosaurus rex toy appeared in Loki’s hand, the sort of thing that he didn’t recall his reason for having, but which he’d been throwing out of the way in his pocket dimension for years. Ceremoniously, with a flourish of his wrist, Loki placed the toy on the conveyor belt. Both of them watched as it traveled away from them.

Stephen looked at him. Then, without warning, he put his hands on Loki’s face, leaned forward, and kissed him soundly. Making a quiet noise of surprise, Loki cupped Stephen’s elbow and kissed him back, even though they were in the middle of the restaurant.

When Stephen pulled back, Loki narrowed his eyes and asked, “What was that for?”

“For being you,” Stephen said, his hands trailing down Loki’s face and neck. He took Loki’s hands. “Just for being you.”

Loki intertwined their fingers. “Even though I got you to accompany me here under somewhat false pretenses?”

“I was being an ass about it,” Stephen said. His thumbs were rubbing circles into the backs of Loki’s hands. “So what if it’s kind of… _really_ unhygienic. If nothing else has taken me out, this isn’t what’s going to kill me.”

“Let’s go back to you being an arse about it,” Loki said.

Stephen chuckled and kissed Loki again. “I love when your eyes light up,” Stephen said. “We can go to all the conveyor belt sushi places you want if you keep looking like that.”

A warm glow sputtered to life in Loki’s chest. Every time Stephen said something like this to him, a voice ran through his mind reminding him that he didn’t deserve this man, who was so good and kind and loved him so, so much. He was trying to ignore the voice. Or—more accurately, he was trying to strengthen another voice inside him, a voice that said that he was worthy of being loved, of being loved by Stephen, in particular.

Even though he’d used underhanded tactics to get Stephen here tonight.

Squeezing Stephen’s hands, Loki said, “So you’re not the slightest bit annoyed that I blackmailed you into coming here?”

With another quiet laugh, Stephen kissed him again. Loki had a feeling people might be looking at them, but he found, for once, that he didn’t care, and he leaned into the kiss. It wasn’t entirely chaste, but there could have been a lot more tongue. Loki might not have cared about the attention of others all that much right now, but he still had standards. “I wouldn’t want you any other way, Odinson,” Stephen said. “What would the God of Mischief be without his underhanded tactics?”

Loki smiled slightly and kissed Stephen softly.

When Loki drew back, Stephen smiled crookedly. “Seriously, though. Did you really think you could play me? I’ve been head over heels for you for a decade. I know the drill.”

Wrinkling his nose, Loki said, “I didn’t fool you at all?”

The smile on Stephen’s face softened. “Maybe a little bit. At first.”

“I’ll take it,” Loki said, tossing his drink back. “Can we still do the other part of your apology, though?”

“Other part?” Stephen asked, his eyebrows drawing together. When Loki gave him a meaningful look, understanding dawned on Stephen’s face. “ _Right_ , the other part of my apology. Yeah. Definitely. I’d say I probably should apologize profusely and repeatedly.”

Norns, it should be illegal for Stephen to give him that look and to get that gravelly undercurrent in his voice. “I like the sound of that,” Loki said. He looked at the empty plates in front of them, then at the sushi passing them on the conveyor belt. The dinosaur toy had almost made a complete circuit, too. “I’m ready to go,” he said decisively.

“You sure?” Stephen said. “Because I mean, I want to make sure I’m really showing you how contrite I am—”

“Get up, Strange,” Loki said, pulling him off the stool and draping his coat over his shoulders. As Loki walked to the front of the restaurant to pay, he reached between two other diners and plucked the tyrannosaurus rex toy off the conveyor belt, vanishing it back to his pocket dimension.

Even though it was generally frowned upon for the Masters of the Mystic Arts to use their sling rings in daily life just for convenience, one of the things that Loki had always appreciated about Stephen was his willingness to break the rules when the situation called for it. And considering the way Loki’s erection was straining against his pants, this particular situation definitely called for a sling ring to avoid the ten block walk back to the Sanctum.

The two of them went straight to Stephen’s room, yanking clothes off each other, kissing frantically, grabbing at bare skin once they could get to it. They only made it to the bed by accident, when Loki pulled Stephen towards him a little too forcefully and the two of them tumbled backwards onto it.

By unspoken agreement, the underwear stayed on. At least, they stayed on for the first—er—apology. Stephen pulled them to one side while he fucked Loki. After Loki came in them, Stephen peeled them off.

As fun as the underwear had been, the two of them took advantage of their absence too. Repeatedly. And profusely. Nothing like the feel of their naked bodies against each other’s, after all.

When they were done, well past midnight, Stephen kissed Loki slowly in the dark and pulled him close, then tucked his head under Loki’s chin. The feeling of his beard rubbing on Loki’s chest was nice. “Next year I’ll get the matching set that King Arthur makes.”

Loki yawned, all his limbs feeling heavy and relaxed. “And what does the matching set consist of?”

Stephen’s arm tightened around Loki’s midsection. “Guess you have to wait until next Valentine’s Day to find out.”

With a quiet laugh, Loki kissed the top of Stephen’s head. Breathing out and closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Stephen. Who would have thought? It turned out there _was_ a material object that Loki wanted. At least, if Stephen gave it to him, he did. 

Hm. Stephen giving it to him. _That_ was something he definitely needed.

Well, tomorrow was another day.

Loki kissed Stephen’s head again. “Looking forward to it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading my latest installment of Dumb Holiday Froststrange Fics! Lol. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, be it comments or kudos. And happy belated Valentine's Day!
> 
> You should also come hang out with me on [tumblr](https://aurorawest.tumblr.com/)! I like to talk about Loki.


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